Deja Vu
by PhoenixMerton
Summary: "A broken man too fragile to fight a war." Percy's thoughts as he is about to fall. MoA spoilers


Disclaimer: All characters and plot belong to the fabulous Mr. Riordan.

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As he hung there, hand scraped and hanging muscles screaming, his mind was overcome with pain, so much so that his vision blurred and he wanted to scream but his body was too weak to produce the sound.

But as he hangs there, he refuses to give up hope. He just keeps thinking "_I can do this. I can do this"_ and he knows he can because he's done it before. He has almost lost Annabeth this way before in that other dreadful war that still haunts his memories. Memories of the faces he will never see again, memories of sheer panic that manifest themselves into nightmares which manifest themselves into shrieking. At least when his memories were taken there was nothing for him to shriek about, but it has only been months since the last awr and those memories plague him now as they did then. He shrieks for Silena and Micheal and Beckendorf and he panics for Annabeth, Annabeth, Annabeth. He's seen her die in so many manifestations of his imagination, seen the poison from that knife go straight to her heart, seen Luke throw her across the throne room in her last desperate plea, seen her fall off the edge of Olympus when he and Grover and Thalia used all their might to ensure that after all they had been through, that now would not be the time that one of them was lost.

The memory resurfacing has left him feeling some sick form of deja vu. He knows its PTSD, the kind his mom pooled together the money and took him to a therapist for He grasps for the reality like he grasps at the cliff, desperately, with all he can, to overcome the plague of both memories and monsters he will most certainly fall into below. But its hard and he's _tired. _A broken man too fragile to fight a war.

But his thoughts weaken in time with his muscles and he realizes, though he tries to deny the thoughts, that this time, there is no Grover and no Thalia, and it is just him tethering him and Annabeth to the only world they have known and he isn't _strong enough_.

"Percy," she pleads up to him in a strangled voice, "Let go."

And as much as he does not want to fall into hell, he really doesn't want to live in a world without Annabeth. So he makes a split second decision, a choice between what is better, a life in hell or a life without Annabegth, and he, as much as one of the only thoughts running through his mind is still the panicked _Annabeth, Annabeth, Annabeth_, he makes the decision consciously and unconsciously that he chooses a life in hell with Annabeth is better than a life on Earth without her.

He, through his sweat running into his eyes looks to her and sees the pain in her face, sees that she cannot hold on any longer than he has and tells her,

"We're in this together."

And then the muscles cannot hold on any longer. His fingers slip from the ledge and the hope simultaneously dies and thrives for a part of him has given up on his dream of a life with her but they will have succeeded in living whatever they have of this life together. And though he won't see her with the ring on her finger that he so desperately wants to give her, never see the swell of her stomach, see her with grey hair and wrinkles and kiss her good morning for the rest of forever, they will be together.

Together. That's the most important thing.

But thinking it over and over had left him feeling some sick form of deja vu. He grasps for the definition like he grasps at the cliff, desperately.

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**Author's Note:** Just a little update for everyone I started college! (I'm taking a myth class :)) Writing is kinda hard rn in my dorm so I just wrote this to get back in the groove. Updates for my other stories are coming but patience is key for a few months.

The main point of this story was the show that Percy and Annabeth prob still have PTSD from the first war and I LOVE that we get to see them in the second series because THEY ARE SPECTACULAR, but in real world life and problems it is cruel to thrust them back into the spotlight, and they definitely have issues with the death of so many of their friends after just the previous summer.

ALSO I AM SO EXCITED FOR THE LIGHTNING THIEF MUSICAL! I watched a preview online and it was good but I hope there are actual sets and costumes because otherwise I will be disappointed. (And annabeth's headband is gross).


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